A New Perspective

My sweet friend, Candice Scott, said of my Lyla on a recent Facebook post that she will be bringing a lot of perspective into our lives.  This was in response to my story about Lyla explaining how she shared a toothbrush while in the orphanage.  So this post is in response to a new perspective that I have on Christmas, more specifically, starting all things Christmas early in November.

This may be long, so bear with me.  

Growing up, Christmas decorations, songs and celebrating came in December.  Not the day after Thanksgiving, it had to be December.  I don't think this was really a hard rule, it just kinda happened that way.  When I was real young we would go cut down our Christmas tree and put it up the first weekend in December, and the season began there.  So, in my mind that's how it should be.

I married a man who LOVES Thanksgiving, and he is kind of like Scrooge when he sees early signs of Christmas.  He wants us to focus on Thanksgiving, his favorite holiday.  I am not anti-Thanksgiving, but really it pales in comparison to Christmas.  Jesus Birth vs. football and gluttony (ok, so maybe that comparison is a little biased, but you get my point) I had always said that I have no problem waiting until December 1st to put up lights, the tree and all things Christmas.  However, December 1st through December 25th you will hear nothing but Christmas music in my house or in my car, and I didn't want any complaints.  I LOVE CHRISTMAS TIME!

There have been a few years that we got things out a bit early, for simplicity.  Once we had kids getting things done on a weekday evening was much harder, so lights needed to go up on a weekend.  We made exceptions, but still tried to keep it until after Thanksgiving.

As Christmas decorations began creeping into stores this year Macey and Xander immediately knew that Christmas must be coming soon.  This is the first year that they remembered a past Christmas and were able to get excited about what's to come.  As Lyla was exposed to the word Christmas, she just kind of associated it with decorations, the things she saw in the store.  Honestly, I was just kinda brushing it off, not really saying much and was going to wait until "Christmas" started showing up at our house and then we would explain the true meaning of Christmas.  Well, as you no-Christmas-before-Thanksgiving-believers know, there is propaganda everywhere.

One day at home we were mentioning Christmas, and even Santa Claus (Yes, Santa will be delivering presents to our kids this year. Yes, we will visit him and have their picture taken.  On another note, for another post, I do not know how I feel about that anyore.  So, do not judge me for playing Santa, Lyla has brought a whole new perspective on that idea too.  For another time.) and Kevin said to Lyla, "Do you know what Christmas is?"  She simply said, "No."  There it was, an open door to tell her what Christmas was.

Now, literally, in that instant, before I started talking I thought to myself, "OHMYWORD!  I have a 7 year old child, who has no idea what Christmas is.  She doesn't think it's about getting presents, or telling Santa what you want, or combing through a catalog putting every high priced toy on a want list. DON'T SCREW THIS UP, ALLISON!"  I really did think that.  So, in all of my wisdom I said, "It's Jesus birthday!"  That's it folks, that's all I came up with.  *sigh*

I know it's the truth, I know that is what is important and because she is still gaining an understanding of the English language and her limited knowledge of who Jesus and God are, that was probably the best I could do.  But I felt that I had failed, in a small way.  I want her focus, our focus, to be not only that Jesus was born but that GOD GAVE US HIS SON!  He GAVE US HIS SON!  THAT IS OUR GIFT!  She has memorized John 3:16, and so I could have used that verse, then she could have tied the Bible, God's Word, and all that is in there to the celebration of Christmas, it would have made sense.  But I choked.

So, that's what brings me to this post (I told you it would be long, but I do have a point).  I can't think of a better way to teach my child, who has NO IDEA what Christmas is, the true meaning of Christmas than to live and breathe it everyday.  So that is why we've already been playing Christmas music in our house!  That is why we have already read the Luke 2 version of the Christmas story.  That is why the kids Nativity set is on the coffee table.  That is why tonight our family movie is going to be about Christmas, and why we're headed out to buy some new Christmas books.  My daughter will know that Christmas is a day, but she needs to know that the reason we celebrate Christmas is present all the time.

Like I said, we will do Santa this year, I don't mind Santa, it's fun.  I grew up in a house where Santa was alive and well and I believed until I was way too old and I think I turned out ok.  I always knew that Jesus' birthday was the reason we celebrated and Santa did not take the focus off of Christ...at least in the big picture.  I'm sure I was a bratty kid who wanted everything and may have even cried when I didn't get what I wanted, (sorry, Mom and Dad), but we knew why we were celebrating.

I do agree that Christmas is over-commercialized, it is a greedy holiday for a lot of folks.  However, my new perspective is this, if I can use all the over-commercialized Christmas stuff on TV and in stores to take more time to explain the real meaning of Christmas to my daughter, then I will.  We all need a good reminder about why we celebrate.

So, Christmas time came early in our house...WAY before Thanksgiving. :)

Orphan Sunday

It's Orphan Sunday.  Many of you may not know what that is, so here is an expert from http://orphansunday.org/ 
On Orphan Sunday, Christians stand for the orphan. We are a people called to defend the fatherless…to care for the child that has no family…to visit orphans in their distress.

Each event is locally-led. Sermons and small groups, concerts and prayer gatherings, shared meals and youth activities—each rousing believers with God’s call to care for the orphan, and what we can do in response.

From many sources, one voice. On November 4th, 2012, thousands of events echo across America and around the globe, all sharing a single goal: that God’s great love for the orphan will find echo in our lives as well.

Orphan Sunday is your opportunity to rouse church, community and friends to God’s call to care for the orphan.

So this is my platform!  This year, Orphan Sunday is especially significant.  On this day, 4 years ago, my son became an orphan.  Left alone, abandoned on a street corner.  An orphan.  

When he was abandoned, the day he became an orphan, is the first record we have of his existence.  Our older daughter is the same, the first documentation on their lives is the day they became an orphan.  Sad and heartbreaking if I dwell on it too long.

Fortunately, for us, we answered the call to care for orphans in 2006 when we started the adoption process.  I will be honest, at the time I didn't see it as a "calling," just something we were both willing to do.  God used our years of waiting to reveal His plan for us and our role in caring for orphans.  Today OUR part in caring for orphans includes a family with two former orphans, sending others to care for orphans in other countries and sponsoring a few more.  Had we not asked God what our role was, these things would never have happened.

So that's my plea to you, WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO FOR THE ORPHAN?  As believers we are called to help: 

James 1:27

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

Isaiah 1:17

Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow's cause.

I stop short of saying that everyone should adopt a child, I'm not sure if that is a good suggestion.  I don't know what God wants you to do (it's hard enough to figure out what He wants me to do ;)), but I know His instruction to care for orphans is clear.  Caring can mean so many things, it can mean adoption, one less orphan in this world!  It may mean sponsoring an orphan in another country, there are many trustworthy organizations that make this very easy to do.  It may mean giving money so someone else can go work in an orphanage, it may mean going to that orphanage yourself.  There are so many options!

I also want to add this, after prayerful consideration about what God wants you to do, don't stop there.  There are 147 million orphans worldwide, it's going to take all of us to make a difference.  God may be asking you to sponsor and orphan now, so do it, start today and do it, but keep asking.  Sponsoring an orphan today may be God's way of opening your heart to more, or different things in the future.  And I promise, speaking from experience, you do not want to miss out on what God has for you!!!

Xander is 4

And exhale!  Wow, what a string of birthday celebrations we have had!  With all 3 of my kids having birthdays within 6 weeks of each other, we are partied out!  Well, at least I am, I'm sure the little ones would happily continue.

Trying to plan 1 more party, on a weekend, after Halloween and our other big bday celebration was tough.  It just seemed like Saturdays and Sunday afternoons were full.  We chose a Friday night Campfire party for Xander's 4th!  We invited Dads and boys to enjoy a night around the campfire, with a tent and plenty of hot chocolate and s'mores.  Little did we know that this November day would be almost 90 degrees, but luckily it cooled off when the sun went down (ahhhh, memories of nights in the mountains of California) and fun was had by all.

Welcome to Camp Xander!

The birthday boy and the spread

S'mores with friends!

Mmmmm, hot chocolate

Roastin' the 'mallow

YUM!!!

Saturday morning I was awaken by a little boy, holding his stuffed animals and his new flash light saying, "Mom, am I 4?"  "Yes, buddy, you are 4."  He was pretty confused by having his party before he actually turned 4, since sisters' parties were after.  Good thing the party was just the day before. ;)

His birthday started with breakfast cooked by Dad, and after a quick trip to the grocery store Mom brought home a cake.  (Um, according to Xander, it is not a birthday unless you have a cake.  Cupcakes are ok, but a cake makes it the real deal.  I did not know this, but now I will not forget it!)  So, french toast and cake for breakfast, it was.

Some presents, the singing of Happy Birthday complete with 4 candles, and a shopping to trip to spend money from Grandma Connie (alone with Mom!) made this little 4 year old 1 happy dude!

Daddy's french toast and a side of ice cream cake for a birthday breakfast

A real lefty baseball glove

Happy birthday to you...

We love you Xander!!!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Birthday Celebration!

I think pictures are more fun to look at than reading my ramblings, so I'll try to keep it short.  Lyla's first birthday with us was better than I imagined!  As I mentioned before, she was looking forward to it for so long and I do not think she was disappointed.  

Nana, Gpa Max, Auntie Meedo, Uncle Oobie and her cousin Logan all came from California, on her birthday, and were here for the party.  We all got to go out to eat on her birthday and she got a few gifts.  Saturday was the big party, where 50, yes 50 people were here to celebrate Lyla's day!  What a blessing!!!  

Thank you to all who came to celebrate with us!  It was truly a birthday to remember!

A birthday breakfast of noodles and eggs!  Apparently something she ate nearly every morning for breakfast, while in China.

Waiting for Gpa Max, Auntie Meedo, Uncle Oobie and Logan to arrive for the festivities!

A new purple bike from Mom and Dad!

Dinner at Kyoto!

A bounce house!

Friends!

More friends!!!

Daddy on the grill!

A beautifully decorated Repunzel cake and 6 small cakes...one for each year we missed!

Singing for me?!

Happy Birthday Lyla!

It's finally here!  The first time we get to celebrate Lyla's birthday, I feel like I have been waiting YEARS for this day...and I suppose, in a way I have.

1 year ago I posted about wondering what celebrating a truly unknown birthday would be like.  If you need to refresh your memory, (I know I did) here you go.  I wasn't sure what to think or feel, and I am happy to say that this year, October 18th is more exciting than I ever could have imagined.

It sure was nice for Lyla to experience what a birthday was before her actual day.  Macey's birthday was a good test run, so looking forward to her own birthday was easy.

I cannot tell you how many times Lyla has said to me, "Mom, I'm just so excited about my birthday." with a beaming smile on her face.  The moment it was October she could hardly contain her excitement, every day she wanted to know if it was the 18th and every day we would count the number of sleeps until her day.  I just kept hoping the anticipation would not be more exciting than the actual day.

Then there was one day last week.  Just she and I were in the car and she said, "Mom, I'm just so excited about my birthday." I said, "I know, me too."  Then she said (in her still-learning-English way), "I never not had a birthday."  With tears rolling down my cheeks I said, "Then I hope this one is extra special."  Of course, we all know she has had a birthday, but as far as she can remember not a birthday like she has learned about since coming home.  Not a day where everyone and everything is about you!

So, all my fears about not knowing her true date of birth have completely faded.  I don't care if she was born on June 22nd, because October 18th is when we will celebrate our big girl.  It is the day that she will add one year to her age, it is the day people will sing happy birthday to her and it is the day that balloons will be flying because of her!

I've said it many time, this little girl has and will continue to teach me more than I will ever teach her.

Happy Birthday Lyla!
We love you more than you will ever know, and we are SO EXCITED to celebrate your 7th birthday today!

Keeping you informed

I am trying, not very successfully, to keep all my faithful followers (hear the sarcasm?) current on what's been going on with us.  I am happy to inform you that life is happening, and by life I mean the boring, often unreported, sometimes hard, frustrating and not-so-pretty events.  Yep, that's what's going on.

I was hoping, that by the end of September homeschooling would be easier, more fun (for both student and teacher) and rewarding. Well, the end of September is here and that is not the case.  At least 14 times yesterday I was ready to hang up my homeschool hat and throw my oldest into the nearest public school!  Seriously!  Then, by lunch time I had convinced myself that I was being dramatic and we were just having a bad day.  It wasn't until after all the kids had been in bed for a few hours that I finally believed, again, that our homeschool/private school situation is still the best. 

Can we say TOUGH DAY?!  But we press on.

I don't know why I feel the need to tell everyone how hard this is.  It is certainly not because I want everyone to think that I am doing something SO hard and I should be applauded for my effort.  NO WAY!  I am a little embarrassed at how things are going in our house and I just hope Lyla doesn't have to repeat Kindergarten because she hasn't learned a thing!  I don't want people to feel pity, or give me excuses because of our "situation" (situation meaning Lyla still learning English, and how to be in a family, and what we expect of her) I don't believe in excuses.  This is our life, this is what we were given.  Maybe I'm hoping that I'm not the only one, misery loves company, they say.  Which is actually a terrible thing, and why would I want to find another miserable person to wallow with?  I digress.  I guess I try to be transparent, and want people to know behind my smiling face and the sweet giggles of my children are struggles.

Before I had kids I don't remember anyone ever telling me, "Your kids will make you feel like a failure. You will learn things about yourself that you never knew, and it won't be pretty."  Nope, don't remember that.  So hear me, if you don't have kids, that's what I am saying to you.  Now, before you hear that as gloom and doom, there are the positive things like, "You'll never feel more love for a person.  You'll never be more proud.  The rewards outweigh the struggles."  Those are all equally as true, honestly.  But feeling like I have failed is now and everyday occurrence, and that I did not expect.

I don't really consider myself a control freak.  Sure, there are many things that I think I have control of, and when they go awry I get upset and might throw a fit...or 12.  For the most part I can roll with it, try to make the best of situations and move on.  But what I have learned about myself, through the eyes of my sweet, ever so honest children, is that I am a control freak when it comes to my expectations of them.  

I have high expectations of my kids, and I'm not sure that will really change.  I think high expectations are OK, because kids are smarter and more capable than we often give them credit for.  What is not OK is my response when they don't meet those expectations.  The not-so-pretty part of my world is that I don't offer enough grace.  When expectations aren't met, today, when I think they should be met, all my ugly comes out.  All of it!

When I have expressed my frustration with my friends I hear them say, "Give yourself some grace.  Don't be so hard on yourself.  It will get easier."  I appreciate these supportive, encouraging friends more than they will ever know.  But if they knew the real truth, and saw how things went down in this house they would appropriately say, "Offer grace to your kids.  Your Heavenly Father has given you more grace you deserve.  Let them see His love and mercy pour out of you."

My Kindergartner is teaching me WAY more than I am teaching her.

I DID NOT go to Seminary!

I have to give you some background before I tell you the real story.

We keep a very open dialogue with ours kids, hoping that as they get older it will remain, and some of the harder to talk about issues won't be so hard.  Adoption is a common topic, obviously, we share everything in an age appropriate way.  Because we recently lost Papa Ross, death and Heaven come up on a regular basis as well.  Our kids are currently in Awana, which is a program for kids where scripture memory is the main focus.  Lyla's first Bible verse was John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life." (it took 4 weeks, but SHE DID IT! But that's another post)

Ok, so Macey and Xander heard that verse 100 times at least, and they asked questions.  What is perish? What is eternal life?  One of my favorite songs is 10,000 Reasons, in which it says "Bless the Lord, oh, my soul." On more than one occasion Macey has asked, "What is a soul?" I had NO idea little kids would be inquisitive about such important things!

So that is the background, they ask questions about serious things and I do my best to give a truthful explanation.  Today, on our way to gymnastics "What is a soul?" was asked.  The rest of the conversation went something like this...

Me: It is who we are, it is where we find our love for God, it directs our thoughts, feelings and actions.
Macey: What does it look like?
Me: You can't see it. It is inside of us, it is who we are.
(Pause to point out the cows)
Macey: Does Jesus have a soul?
Me: (um, I don't know, so I did the best I could) Well, He had a soul when he was on Earth, but now He is in Heaven. (I suppose Jesus had a soul, but He is not human, so does He?) Our soul is what goes to Heaven.
Macey: Papa doesn't have a soul.
Me: No, Papa's soul in in Heaven.
Macey: Because our soul goes to Heaven.
Me: Right.

Seriously, I just sit there in awe of her questions and try not to tell her lies when I answer, this is tough stuff.  I thought I was done for that car ride, but it gets better.  Xander started talking about Jesus and the cross, and this is what followed.

Xander: People hurt Jesus when He died on the cross.
Me: Yes, very badly.
Xander: Those are mean people.
Me: Yes, they were very mean to Jesus.
(short pause)
Macey: What if those people were right?
Me: What people?
Macey: The people who were mean to Jesus.
Me: Why were they right?
Macey: Because He had to die on the cross so we could go to Heaven.
(SILENCE)
Me: Wow, Macey, you might be right.  Jesus had to die on the cross.


...my head is still spinning.

6 months!?

Seriously?! 6 months?! She's been ours for only 6 months. She only been ours for 6 months? You get what I'm saying?  In some ways I feel like I have never had a life without her, really, that's not just a cliche.  In other ways this 6 months FLEW by, and it feels like last week that she walked into that hotel room and my heart swelled because she was finally with me, in the flesh.

In her 6 months in our family she has experienced much.  Although, I suppose that is a relative term, as her first 6 years were flooded with experiences that I will never comprehend.

Since joining our family...
*She travelled halfway around the world to meet her little brother and sister and start a new life in a place called Texas.
*She lost a Papa that she never met.
*She drove halfway across the U.S. and met a family that loved her for a year before they were able to hug her.
*She learned to swim.
*She got stung by a wasp.
*She got strep.
*She went to the dentist.
*She got her first vaccine.
*She tried chips and salsa, and it's now her favorite food.
*She went to her first day of school.

Lyla, we had NO idea what God was sending our way when He gave us you!  We are so glad that there is no turning back!  Forever ours!

Pink poodle party!

On Saturday we had a small party so Macey could celebrate her birthday with a few friends.  She wanted a pink poodle party, so I did my best to come up with a few things to make that happen!

We had pink poodle ears and decorated pink frisbees, and then took the outside to see how far they would fly!

White cupcakes with pink frosting was the request, and I added marshmallows to make them poodle-like.

And just because she is cute, sporting her new pink cowgirl boots!

Macey is 4!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MACEY CHARLOTTE!!!

A new era!

Well, it took a week (with my mom here to help for that week) just to get our 1st day of school pictures posted.  Shew!  I am beat!  Without further ado, here is our Kindergartner!

Yep, so stinkin' cute!!!!

I think I have mentioned Lyla's school situation, but not sure how much detail I have given in blog land, so let me explain.  She is in a University Model School, called Providence Academy which is part private school and part homeschool.  She attends a regular Kindergarten class on Mondays and Wednesdays, like private school, the class sizes are small and they have chapel as part of their day.  On Tuesdays and Thursdays her schooling is done at home by Teacher Mom!  The classroom teacher gives us lesson plans for an entire week and we just do our part on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  Fridays are reserved for bigger projects, if they come up, occasion field trips and service projects that the entire school will take part in.

We love this model!  It is a perfect fit for Lyla, since she is still learning English.  It gives her exposure to a regular classroom and other kids her age (although she is a whole year older, K is the perfect grade for her) but lets us focus on things that may still be difficult for her since she is still new to the country and culture.

If I am being honest, which is kind of the point, it is SUPER hard for me! :)  I am guessing it will get easier, but homeschooling was not really on my radar until we were a few months away from bringing Lyla home.  We didn't know how she was going to adjust, we had NO clue what it looked like to adopt a school aged child (or even have one, for that matter) so I just opened my mind and heart up to every possibility.  So, gulp, homeschool became an option.  

Well, God worked, and is still working on my heart as I try to embrace and love my new role.  I do believe that this is the best situation for Lyla. We have already encountered a few things, regarding academics, that confirmed our decision to have homeschool as part of her education.  She just needs some extra attention in certain areas, where most Kindergartners may not.  She loves school, she loves doing school work...but I don't think she is real fond of Mom the teacher.  We're working on that!

Lyla and her teacher Mrs. Bunch 

(aka my good friend whom I have known for 4+ years, and actually taught a HS Sunday school class with for 2 years!)

She found her space at the table, and her name tag and she was a bit excited!!!

Since I will be a teacher on Tuesdays and Thursdays Macey and Xander will be doing school too!  Here they are on their first day of preschool!  Macey is my little student, she wants to do everything that Lyla is doing, and she can, and does.  Xander wants to be a part of everything, but he is a 3 year old boy, and well, just isn't always gung ho about school things.  Good thing we have 2 more years before Kindergarten!

First day of Preschool

As if starting school wasn't enough for one week Lyla had her first ever soccer practice.  I was super excited about it, she wasn't real sure what she was about to do, but once she got there she had a blast.  We have one more practice before our first game, but it will certainly be interesting.  This league is through our church, so it is non-competitive, and that is perfect!  Maybe she'll surprise us and be a soccer standout, but if not, she'll be the cutest little soccer player on the field!!!

Our little tiny Lyla, glad she's tough! :)

To end our school week Nana took Lyla to make her first Build-a-Bear!  She was thrilled!  She had seen Macey and Xander's, and then her cousins Alyssa and Lindsey had theirs when they came to visit, and she had her mind made up that she needed one too.  Nana to the rescue!!!

She picked a pink bunny, which surprised me.

Macey and Xander got new outfits for their friends, and here is Lyla with Britney the bunny in her wedding dress and heels.  

This week was a very emotional one for me.  I never thought I'd be the mom who cried when she dropped her kid off for Kindergarten, but that's who I am.  I didn't cry because I was sad, I am so excited for Lyla.  She is a bright, energetic and eager little girl, she will succeed in school, I have no doubt.  I think I cried because our lives are forever changed, we now have a school-aged child.  Again, not something to be sad about, just emotional from all of the changes that life has thrown us in the past few months.  When Lyla came home I knew I had 5 months with her at home before school started, I knew that once school started she would be doing things without me (gasp!) and the reality of that hit me right in the forehead.  So, tears, not hard tears, just tears as I walked out of her classroom and knew that she would be ok without me! :)

Grandma Connie, Alyssa and Lindsey week!

Grandma Connie, Alyssa and Lindsey came to visit for an ENTIRE week!  My kids were counting down the days (or actually the whole month before) until they arrived and then when they did the excitement quadrupled!

We headed to the Rodeo on Friday night, which was a first for all of our guests!  I took all of these pictures around the table of our BBQ pre-Rodeo meal and they all turned out so cute I needed to show you!

Most of the activity was at home, although we did our fair share of driving and going on outings

Uncle/Daddy completed the new sandbox in the backyard at the end of the visit.  Sand in always fun, no matter your age.

Kiddie pools were a hit, there is no age limit on those, you know!

We had some free passes to a wildlife park about 1 hour away.  We figured we might as well go since it was free.  It was fun, we got to pet giant horses and camels (which I thought were kind of ugly close up).  The kids seemed to enjoy it, albeit a bit hot that day.

Cutie girls riding the tram around Sharkarosa Wildlife Park

Petting a baby joey

Lyla had asked if they could sleep in the living room/stay up all night while her cousins were here.  I said that was fine, so we prepared our snack dinner and chose 3 movies.  All 3 movies were watched, but everyone ended up in their own beds to sleep!

Snack dinner!  

 The 2nd course of the snack dinner was a candy pile...oh my! 

(during this 2nd course Mommy and Daddy snuck out for a couple hours for our first date since Lyla came home!  THANK YOU GMA CONNIE AND GIRLS!!!!)

They playing, squealing and giggling that went on while they were here will be hard to duplicate.  It was so fun to have them here, cousins are the best friends!