An aside

Most of this blog is for people who don't live near us to see what our family is up to. Pictures of activities and of family events and milestones is the purpose, but today I'm stepping a little outside my box.

At dinner last night we had some really great conversation. We don't always sit down together, and even when we do talking about "important" things rarely happens. Last night was different, which made me happy, and little nervous. Let me explain.

We've always known, since adopting Xander, that explaining how everyone got into this family could be an emotional conversation. With that in mind the word adoption is used almost on a daily basis.  It's something we use to describe how our family was created, adoption is a verb, it's never used to describe our kids. Well, not too long ago we were talking about how Macey got into our family, you see in our house it makes more sense to go to China and pick up a brother or sister than to give birth to one! :) (Kind of like Macey not understanding why Lyla wasn't born with a hole in her lip. Hehehe!)

I told them that Macey grew in my belly (let me add that none of them have asked HOW she got into my belly, yet. Shew!). Xander said, "And I was in your tummy?" I thought, well, here it goes..., "No, buddy. Remember, you were a baby in China before mommy and daddy came to get you, you grew in another lady's tummy." As I was bracing myself for more questions he said, "Then you and Macey and Daddy and Nana and Grandpa Max came to China!" "Exactly!"

So, those are the kind of talks we have, usually very casual and matter of fact.  Last night at dinner, I'm not sure how it started, but I was asking Lyla about her friends from the orphanage.  As her English gets better she is able to answer questions I have, which is such a blessing! She told me there were lots of kids, and they shared a room with lots of beds. She didn't go to school, and there were no babies there. I started asking her if other kids left the orphanage and got a mom and dad, and she said yes. I even asked if she was told about us before we came, she said yes and began to describe one of the photos we sent to her of all of us. My heart swelled!!!

Xander then asked me again what his Chinese name was, and then proceeded to say it over and over and over. Then we had to explain why Macey didn't have a Chinese name. After dinner we sat at the computer and looked at pictures of all the kids and how they got here. Lyla is still convinced that she was never a baby, and we don't have pictures to prove that she was, so that could take a while.

Nothing profound was said, but I knew a lot was accomplished. #1 Xander casually mentioned that he grew in another lady's tummy, #2 Macey knows that if you were born in Texas you don't have a Chinese name and #3 Lyla began to talk about her life before our family. It was a good night!

I'm sure there will be days when dinners are filled with talking about school work, activities or what's on tap for tomorrow, but I hope we continue to do a lot of learning around our dinner table!